• The GiftBot 2.0 Launch Giveaway Extravaganza has come to a close with an astounding 8073 games given away to the community by 696 members, a huge success thanks to you! The gifting now continues with more official prizes in the new Gaming Giveaways |OT|. Leftover Steam codes are also being given away to the PC Gaming Era community.

ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping

Hamrub

Member
Oct 27, 2017
508
Glasgow
Looking for recommendations for bedtime story books for a nearly four year old girl. We’ve got lots of stuff suitable for younger kids and all the usual Julia Donaldson (Gruffalo) and similar. I’ve been trying to find something a bit more like a long form story so we can do a chapter a night but everything in that style seems to be aimed at older kids. Anyone got any suggestions?
 

Antagon

Member
Nov 4, 2017
156
Looking for recommendations for bedtime story books for a nearly four year old girl. We’ve got lots of stuff suitable for younger kids and all the usual Julia Donaldson (Gruffalo) and similar. I’ve been trying to find something a bit more like a long form story so we can do a chapter a night but everything in that style seems to be aimed at older kids. Anyone got any suggestions?
You could try this:


Each chapter is relatively confined, but together they do form a longer story. Originally Dutch, but from what I read the translation is really good.

Might be that (nearly) four is still a bit young though. Hard to say for me as I only got a 1 year old.
 

Hamrub

Member
Oct 27, 2017
508
Glasgow
You could try this:


Each chapter is relatively confined, but together they do form a longer story. Originally Dutch, but from what I read the translation is really good.

Might be that (nearly) four is still a bit young though. Hard to say for me as I only got a 1 year old.
Cheers, I'll have a look :)
 

The Albatross

Member
Oct 25, 2017
10,201
Uh oh

...

Just want to say ... Era traditionally shits on parents and children in most other non-parent-era threads. We get it as much as anybody, children are little hellians. This thread has had a couple parents who have gone through tragedy, some recently, some longer ago, and so if you come into this thread intending to shit on children and parenthood, please, just take it somewhere else. We're a supportive community who tries to give advice and support to other parents adjusting to the reality of parenthood.

... with that out of the way :)

Anyway, lately struggling with my daughter (15mos) sleeping through the night... She sleeps through the night about 3/7 days a week maybe 4/7 on average, andd those nights are great (usually 7PM to 7am or close enough to it), but she's regularly waking up at about 2am and being wired. So, we were bad when she started doing this initially maybe at ~11mos or so, we'd take her into our bed if she woke up at 4am or so, because she'd fall back asleep instantly and then sleep till 6, 7am, which was great and so easy to develop back habits. But now she's waking up at 2am, and then staying awake, like wired until ~4am. I'm a light sleeper and my wife has ot get up for work at 6am or so, so usually I'm on baby duty at night, and I'm going a little kookoo. I've tried letting her cry it out, but she'll be inconsolable for 30, 60, 90 mins... and usually I'm just like "Aw fuck it, she';ll be wired, I'll be awake, but at least she won't be screaming..."

Trying to get this down and also get nap time down. SHe's good about napping at daycare as far as I know, but napping in her crib on the weekends is a real challenge. SHe'll be tired, yknow fading fast while playing, and so I'll bring her up to her crib with the intent of a little nap, but she'll not have it./.. She'll fight it hard and stay awake for ~an hour+, enough so that it's not really nap time anymore.
 
Last edited:

RedNalgene

Member
Oct 25, 2017
387
Uh oh

...

Just want to say ... Era traditionally shits on parents and children in most other non-parent-era threads. We get it as much as anybody, children are little hellians. This thread has had a couple parents who have gone through tragedy, some recently, some longer ago, and so if you come into this thread intending to shit on children and parenthood, please, just take it somewhere else. We're a supportive community who tries to give advice and support to other parents adjusting to the reality of parenthood.

... with that out of the way :)

Anyway, lately struggling with my daughter (15mos) sleeping through the night... She sleeps through the night about 3/7 days a week maybe 4/7 on average, andd those nights are great (usually 7PM to 7am or close enough to it), but she's regularly waking up at about 2am and being wired. So, we were bad when she started doing this initially maybe at ~11mos or so, we'd take her into our bed if she woke up at 4am or so, because she'd fall back asleep instantly and then sleep till 6, 7am, which was great and so easy to develop back habits. But now she's waking up at 2am, and then staying awake, like wired until ~4am. I'm a light sleeper and my wife has ot get up for work at 6am or so, so usually I'm on baby duty at night, and I'm going a little kookoo. I've tried letting her cry it out, but she'll be inconsolable for 30, 60, 90 mins... and usually I'm just like "Aw fuck it, she';ll be wired, I'll be awake, but at least she won't be screaming..."

Trying to get this down and also get nap time down. SHe's good about napping at daycare as far as I know, but napping in her crib on the weekends is a real challenge. SHe'll be tired, yknow fading fast while playing, and so I'll bring her up to her crib with the intent of a little nap, but she'll not have it./.. She'll fight it hard and stay awake for ~an hour+, enough so that it's not really nap time anymore.
How many naps does she take - 1 or 2? We transitioned my daughter to one nap at about 15 months because she didn't seem tired for the first nap, and right around that time she also started sleeping through the night more regularly. Is it possible she's sleeping too much during the day?

Also, did you do any sleep training with her? Maybe extinction in the overnight isn't best for her, but a modified version could help. Like, when she wakes up and starts to cry, go in there, console her (don't pick her up), and then leave her. Wait 10 minutes, do it again. Do that three times, and then if it fails go and get her and the training is over for the night. Try again the next day.
 

teacup

Attempted to circumvent ban with alt account
Banned
Oct 28, 2017
686
I didn’t know this thread existed!

I have a ten month old daughter. We are sleep deprived but otherwise doing well I feel.

echoing the post above- era really has a problem with childfree style views. I guess it comes with the territory of being a big gaming / anime forum so you have a lot of people who have grown up enjoying that and now have kids- but a lot of stereotypical people who simply refuse to grow up and accept others are having children now.

it does feel frustrating just being told “oh if you have a kid you can’t do x anymore” and then not realise the irony of how that sounds so horrible.

in any case it’s hitting summer here in Australia and our little one turns 1 in December. I have some time off so I can’t wait for my wife and I to be able to take her to the park more often :)

Side note: anyone here taken an 18 month old away on holidays? We are going to Tokyo and Seoul in May and she’ll be 18 months old then. Any tips on what to do / products to help the flight (from Melbourne Australia so ten hours each way) or things that help while travelling are appreciated.
 

emag

Member
Oct 26, 2017
5,697
Side note: anyone here taken an 18 month old away on holidays? We are going to Tokyo and Seoul in May and she’ll be 18 months old then. Any tips on what to do / products to help the flight (from Melbourne Australia so ten hours each way) or things that help while travelling are appreciated.
We've made several cross-country trips (DC to California), and the difficulty has varied significantly. The first time (5 months) was a breeze, but somewhere around 24 months was pretty bad -- perhaps kids around that age just need to stretch their legs. We did find that an inflatable "foot rest" helped in providing a larger seating/sleeping area for our child, though, and as always a tablet with children's shows is a lifesaver.
 

Septimus Prime

EA
Verified
Oct 25, 2017
4,624
Side note: anyone here taken an 18 month old away on holidays? We are going to Tokyo and Seoul in May and she’ll be 18 months old then. Any tips on what to do / products to help the flight (from Melbourne Australia so ten hours each way) or things that help while travelling are appreciated.
Yeah, we've done lots of trips, both domestic and international. It's really important that she has something to suck on during takeoff and landing. At her age, her ears can't regulate the pressure differential, so you need to make sure she's swallowing when the pressure changes the most.
 

Chopchop

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,409
How many naps does she take - 1 or 2? We transitioned my daughter to one nap at about 15 months because she didn't seem tired for the first nap, and right around that time she also started sleeping through the night more regularly. Is it possible she's sleeping too much during the day?

Also, did you do any sleep training with her? Maybe extinction in the overnight isn't best for her, but a modified version could help. Like, when she wakes up and starts to cry, go in there, console her (don't pick her up), and then leave her. Wait 10 minutes, do it again. Do that three times, and then if it fails go and get her and the training is over for the night. Try again the next day.
This is a good point. If she's waking up wide awake in the middle of the night, she might be napping too much during the day. It might be time to cut out one of her day naps or something.

I didn’t know this thread existed!

I have a ten month old daughter. We are sleep deprived but otherwise doing well I feel.

echoing the post above- era really has a problem with childfree style views. I guess it comes with the territory of being a big gaming / anime forum so you have a lot of people who have grown up enjoying that and now have kids- but a lot of stereotypical people who simply refuse to grow up and accept others are having children now.

it does feel frustrating just being told “oh if you have a kid you can’t do x anymore” and then not realise the irony of how that sounds so horrible.

in any case it’s hitting summer here in Australia and our little one turns 1 in December. I have some time off so I can’t wait for my wife and I to be able to take her to the park more often :)

Side note: anyone here taken an 18 month old away on holidays? We are going to Tokyo and Seoul in May and she’ll be 18 months old then. Any tips on what to do / products to help the flight (from Melbourne Australia so ten hours each way) or things that help while travelling are appreciated.
I've done road trips with mine, but never anything on a plane.

What I found is that while he's usually pretty well behaved and likes the view out the window, he understandably gets tired of it eventually and then starts to fuss if it's not naptime. The best thing to do for a road trip was to time the trip to coincide with his naps so that he sleeps through most of the ride. We still needed to make more stops than usual though, just to break the monotony and give him a chance to get out of the car seat for a while.

Oh, and definitely keep some distractions handy, like toys or books. Can't expect a kid to sit quietly for too long without getting bored.
 

teacup

Attempted to circumvent ban with alt account
Banned
Oct 28, 2017
686
Thanks for the input! We are looking at those inflatable seat things and we have booked the seats near the window as well, and books/ toys / laptops and iPads will be ready to go!
 

The Albatross

Member
Oct 25, 2017
10,201
teacup -- Book a bassonette seat, all of the trans-atlantic flights have them. It's literally a bed for baby to sleep in in the bulk-head row. We flew with our ~1year old to Europe (8 hours) last year, and it was a lifesaver, she literally slept 6 hours comfortably.



Sorry this is some lame photo but it's what I found googling.
 

GiJose

Member
Oct 25, 2017
134
at 18 months odds are too big for one of the on board bassinets :(

we requested one anyways for our upcoming flight (ours is 18 months too) and we also requested one when our son was 11 months, and didn't get it that time. We'll see for the upcoming flight but doubtful.

we did get him his own seat which was expensive, but made flying with him a dream. he slept most of the flight each way and was shockingly calm the rest of it. no blowouts either which is always good.

we just brought a few new toys and hoped for the best.
 

Kyuur

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,671
Our little one (19 months) has started rejecting her lovey this week, bed time routine is broken up because it usually involves her snuggling it while we read.

Had our first prolonged wake-up in just under a year last night. Not even mad since I know some parents still deal with that stuff well past 9mo and it was honestly kind of cute since she just wanted to snuggle in our bed but I hope things go back to normal :lol:
 

RDreamer

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,659
Parents, how long do you keep your kids out for trick or treating? I always thought 8pm was a good cut off, but I've seen others say 9pm?
I’ve got a one year old so personally we haven’t hit that issue, but no town around here or that I can see on the entire state list goes past 8. Most stop at 7 but a few do stop at 8.
 

Anno

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,672
Columbus, Ohio
We got our 18 month old out there to visit 5 houses tonight despite 40* temps and 30mph winds. Two out of the five at least pretended to know what a narwhal is. I was just glad she always signed please and thanks!
 

Nephtes

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,431
Just got done with first Halloween with our 5 month old dressed as a llama in 45° weather for around 40 minutes. Which was plenty.
Everyone thought she was too cute and showered us with candy, which makes no sense since she can’t eat it...
I could see it in everyone’s eyes, they knew I was going to eat all the candy... and they’re right.
 

RDreamer

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,659
We didn’t go trick or treating today. Luckily we went in my hometown on Sunday when it was ~55 degrees and beautiful. Today was like 35 and snowy.

My son is 14 months old so he’s obviously not eating much of his candy either which is great for me. He was mostly held by my wife but did walk to one or two for candy, kind of (he dropped his own in one bucket). We stayed in the wagon a bit while his cousins got candy. He had a blast just searching through his bucket and going around in the wagon.

Oh, and here was his costume:



His name is Arthur so we dressed him as King Arthur/Wart from Disney’s the Sword in the Stone. I dressed as Merlin and my wife was Mad Madam Mim.
 
Last edited:

Kyuur

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,671
Trick or treating was a huge success for us at 19 months. After the first couple houses you could see a fire in her eyes as we approached every house. Walked up to complete strangers and asked for stuff in her bucket, I've never been more proud.
 

emag

Member
Oct 26, 2017
5,697
We didn't really have any plans for Halloween this year -- it's pretty cold here in Minneapolis and our apartment community has few families -- but after being picked up from preschool, our four year old asked to go trick or treating persistently, so we went to a mall about ten miles away for indoor trick or treating. To me it didn't come close to going around our neighborhood in Virginia as in previous years, but the kiddo was satisfied and that's what counts, right?
 

Septimus Prime

EA
Verified
Oct 25, 2017
4,624
We got one trick or treater this year so far. Last year was also abysmal, and I ended up bringing like $80's worth of candy to work.

Trick or treating, however, went super well, and we got tons of candy.
 

Rocketz

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,303
Ferndale, Michigan
Aiden's first trick or treating went really well. We just went to 5 houses around my wife's parents but he got enough candy like we went to 30 houses. He enjoyed just pulling candy out of his pail and putting them back in.

 

The Albatross

Member
Oct 25, 2017
10,201
My daughter was Wednesday from the Adams Family which is a very easy costume. We just went to my parents & sister's house because she's just over 1. I'm eating the candy, a productive haul.

We didn’t go trick or treating today. Luckily we went in my hometown on Sunday when it was ~55 degrees and beautiful. Today was like 35 and snowy.

My son is 14 months old so he’s obviously not eating much of his candy either which is great for me. He was mostly held by my wife but did walk to one or two for candy, kind of (he dropped his own in one bucket). We stayed in the wagon a bit while his cousins got candy. He had a blast just searching through his bucket and going around in the wagon.

Oh, and here was his costume:



His name is Arthur so we dressed him as King Arthur/Wart from Disney’s the Sword in the Stone. I dressed as Merlin and my wife was Mad Madam Mim.
gtfo that photo on the top right
 

BriareosGAF

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,033
These pics are adorable, gj all.

My daughters ended up staying home and watching all the Halloween episodes of Brooklyn 99, and eating a ton of candy before doing their homework. Kids these days I tell ya.
 

RDreamer

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,659
gtfo that photo on the top right
His expressions are always the best.

I'm sure every parent says this, but he's just so photogenic. I take a ridiculous amount of photos. And I'm the resident scrapbooker of the relationship now. I'm making photo books for every 4 months of his life. Had to do every 4 months because there's so many. 240 pages, usually about 300-350 photos in each. I've got the first three done and am working on the 4th. He's going to be able to see himself grow up day by day, practically.
 

nekkid

Member
Oct 27, 2017
9,006
So here’s something: my youngest son was colouring in his Paw Patrol colouring book today and said AJ (who has brown skin colour for the 3 people in this thread unfamiliar with PP) was chocolate colour and he needed the chocolate crayon.

Completely innocent, obviously, but do I address it? He’s just turned 3, so I’m torn between saying that that’s not what we say and then getting into a potentially bigger conversation about how people are different that he won’t be ready for, or just to not draw attention to it and make it a big thing?

At the time I said “you mean brown?” but he was adamant it was chocolate. So I didn’t push it any further.
 
Oct 27, 2017
2,707
So here’s something: my youngest son was colouring in his Paw Patrol colouring book today and said AJ (who has brown skin colour for the 3 people in this thread unfamiliar with PP) was chocolate colour and he needed the chocolate crayon.

Completely innocent, obviously, but do I address it? He’s just turned 3, so I’m torn between saying that that’s not what we say and then getting into a potentially bigger conversation about how people are different that he won’t be ready for, or just to not draw attention to it and make it a big thing?

At the time I said “you mean brown?” but he was adamant it was chocolate. So I didn’t push it any further.
He's 3. Leave it for now imo.
 

RDreamer

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,659
Me changing my 14mo son’s diaper: I mention to him that maybe we need to change his diaper. He stands up and makes and approval noise. I take him upstairs and lay him down. We’re changed and back in a few minutes.

My wife: It’s been over 20 minutes so I walk in. His diaper isn’t actually changed yet, and the brand new package of wipes is completely cleared and spread around him on the changing station.

LMAO
 

emag

Member
Oct 26, 2017
5,697
So here’s something: my youngest son was colouring in his Paw Patrol colouring book today and said AJ (who has brown skin colour for the 3 people in this thread unfamiliar with PP) was chocolate colour and he needed the chocolate crayon.

Completely innocent, obviously, but do I address it? He’s just turned 3, so I’m torn between saying that that’s not what we say and then getting into a potentially bigger conversation about how people are different that he won’t be ready for, or just to not draw attention to it and make it a big thing?

At the time I said “you mean brown?” but he was adamant it was chocolate. So I didn’t push it any further.
Wait. AJ is from Blaze, right? The only major brown character in Paw Patrol is Mayor Goodway, IIRC.

Also, I wouldn't worry too much about it at three, unless he's actually calling a person "chocolate" and not just making an observation about color.
 

nekkid

Member
Oct 27, 2017
9,006
Wait. AJ is from Blaze, right? The only major brown character in Paw Patrol is Mayor Goodway, IIRC.

Also, I wouldn't worry too much about it at three, unless he's actually calling a person "chocolate" and not just making an observation about color.
Fucking hell. Yes, I meant Blaze. I was getting mixed up with Rider as the main human character.

Well he actually said “AJ is chocolate” to which I did try and correct him but he insisted. And my immediate reaction was to not push it because it’ll just make him think about that exchange whenever he sees any of his black friends at nursery.
 

Anno

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,672
Columbus, Ohio
Our 18 month old has become addicted to spicy brown mustard of all things. Now she whines when she runs out of the blob on her plate and has to eat her remaining vegetables without something to dip them in. Seems strange to me but I’m glad she’s branching out food wise.
 

BriareosGAF

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,033
Our 18 month old has become addicted to spicy brown mustard of all things. Now she whines when she runs out of the blob on her plate and has to eat her remaining vegetables without something to dip them in. Seems strange to me but I’m glad she’s branching out food wise.
Ha, this is great. I bribed my fifteen year old to have szechuan pepper paste on her tofu tonight. Not even that spicy, just that crazy numbing delight. "Why do people do this to themselves?"
 

Zappy

Member
Nov 2, 2017
3,647
Uh oh

...

Just want to say ... Era traditionally shits on parents and children in most other non-parent-era threads. We get it as much as anybody, children are little hellians. This thread has had a couple parents who have gone through tragedy, some recently, some longer ago, and so if you come into this thread intending to shit on children and parenthood, please, just take it somewhere else. We're a supportive community who tries to give advice and support to other parents adjusting to the reality of parenthood.

... with that out of the way :)

Anyway, lately struggling with my daughter (15mos) sleeping through the night... She sleeps through the night about 3/7 days a week maybe 4/7 on average, andd those nights are great (usually 7PM to 7am or close enough to it), but she's regularly waking up at about 2am and being wired. So, we were bad when she started doing this initially maybe at ~11mos or so, we'd take her into our bed if she woke up at 4am or so, because she'd fall back asleep instantly and then sleep till 6, 7am, which was great and so easy to develop back habits. But now she's waking up at 2am, and then staying awake, like wired until ~4am. I'm a light sleeper and my wife has ot get up for work at 6am or so, so usually I'm on baby duty at night, and I'm going a little kookoo. I've tried letting her cry it out, but she'll be inconsolable for 30, 60, 90 mins... and usually I'm just like "Aw fuck it, she';ll be wired, I'll be awake, but at least she won't be screaming..."

Trying to get this down and also get nap time down. SHe's good about napping at daycare as far as I know, but napping in her crib on the weekends is a real challenge. SHe'll be tired, yknow fading fast while playing, and so I'll bring her up to her crib with the intent of a little nap, but she'll not have it./.. She'll fight it hard and stay awake for ~an hour+, enough so that it's not really nap time anymore.
Our daughter was exactly the same at that age. We found that the best thing to do is cut out naps during the day. It will make the days more stressful at times BUT your little one is probably trying to tell you that they are ready to adjust to a normal day/night sleeping pattern. So try it for a month and see how it goes. You can always on days when she is extra cranky give her a short nap. But do it in the mornings so she is tired out at night.

I would say - when she's awake at 2am - is she hungry? Because something might be waking her up. You could think about filling her tummy up more before or even during the night to try and break the habit of waking then. Kids usually wake at that age because a wet nappy bothers them or more likely because they are hungry. We found milk would help ours settle at that age and then would sleep in. Which also helps get them off the naps.
 

PoppaBK

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,474
Looking for recommendations for bedtime story books for a nearly four year old girl. We’ve got lots of stuff suitable for younger kids and all the usual Julia Donaldson (Gruffalo) and similar. I’ve been trying to find something a bit more like a long form story so we can do a chapter a night but everything in that style seems to be aimed at older kids. Anyone got any suggestions?
The Bad Kitty books are good transitioning to chapter books. They are 'comic' style but have a decent number of words and they do have chapters. Some of the humor may be over her head but she should still find plenty to amuse her. The Captain underpants books are also good, if a little crass, and with some big words.
 

GiJose

Member
Oct 25, 2017
134
I would say - when she's awake at 2am - is she hungry? Because something might be waking her up. You could think about filling her tummy up more before or even during the night to try and break the habit of waking then. Kids usually wake at that age because a wet nappy bothers them or more likely because they are hungry. We found milk would help ours settle at that age and then would sleep in. Which also helps get them off the naps.
i wouldn't go back to feeding her overnight, there's no reason for her to be hungry at night
 

Zappy

Member
Nov 2, 2017
3,647
i wouldn't go back to feeding her overnight, there's no reason for her to be hungry at night
Our LO was constantly waking up at night hungry. She was a "little and often" type of feeder as a young toddler so it was hard to ever fill her up enough to get her through the night. Didn't help that she was always in the bottom quartile for weight (healthy still) but never really would eat a full meal no matter what you did. She did eat the right stuff though just not in huge quantities. I would say its entirely possible for kids to be hungry at night. Especially if they are suddenly expending more energy - moving more - for example.
 

RDreamer

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,659
Our 14 month old is getting in some teeth so he's upped his wake-ups in the night from about a 5 wake-up average to 7 or so. Never slept through the night at all. Those of you getting more than 5 or 6 hours of sleep a night should feel pretty lucky.

In other progress, though, I'm really proud of him being braver at the library/story times we take him to last week. We go to about 3-4 story times with play times after per week, and he's consistently been the most timid every single time. He loves it, we can tell, but he doesn't venture much usually. Last week he was walking up to take some of the shakers they put down and having fun in the middle of the room. And in another story time he helped put away all the toys and wandered away from me to get some balls a few times. It was great.

Overall he's doing so much better with playing a bit on his own in the kitchen so my wife and I can more easily cook or something. Compared to the colicky baby we had it's amazing.

He also fucking loves the outside, which is a bummer because it's getting so goddamned cold. It snowed and he was not all about that at all. He also hated gloves but yesterday started to get used to them after a while outside in the leaves.

It's also kind of a weird thing to be happy about, but now he's started to get upset when I leave him with mom and have to go do something. Previously that was only a mom leaving thing. I spend much more time with him, though, so I suppose he's really starting to connect a ton. Feel bad that I have to, but it feels nice to be needed/wanted so much.
 
Last edited:

nekkid

Member
Oct 27, 2017
9,006
Sometimes my wife and I think a third would be nice, but man I know all your pains with lack of sleeping and I struggle to see ourselves going through all that again now they’re both sleeping through. Ours were shiiiiiiiiiit.
 

RDreamer

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,659
Sometimes my wife and I think a third would be nice, but man I know all your pains with lack of sleeping and I struggle to see ourselves going through all that again now they’re both sleeping through. Ours were shiiiiiiiiiit.
We're not sure about having a second because of that. Like, adding another shitty sleeper would legit destroy us, but I'm not sure how I feel about waiting until this dude can sleep to do it all again. Add to that in a few years my wife will be even older past fertility age and so it'll be a bit harder and maybe more dangerous. She's 37 now, and was already injured pretty badly the first time.
 

RedNalgene

Member
Oct 25, 2017
387
We're not sure about having a second because of that. Like, adding another shitty sleeper would legit destroy us, but I'm not sure how I feel about waiting until this dude can sleep to do it all again. Add to that in a few years my wife will be even older past fertility age and so it'll be a bit harder and maybe more dangerous. She's 37 now, and was already injured pretty badly the first time.
Sounds just like us...only difference being my wife is 39....

We go back and forth every week. Go for it? Happy with just one? Go for 2? Stick with one?
 

The Albatross

Member
Oct 25, 2017
10,201
How many naps does she take - 1 or 2? We transitioned my daughter to one nap at about 15 months because she didn't seem tired for the first nap, and right around that time she also started sleeping through the night more regularly. Is it possible she's sleeping too much during the day?

Also, did you do any sleep training with her? Maybe extinction in the overnight isn't best for her, but a modified version could help. Like, when she wakes up and starts to cry, go in there, console her (don't pick her up), and then leave her. Wait 10 minutes, do it again. Do that three times, and then if it fails go and get her and the training is over for the night. Try again the next day.
She doesn't nap much at home at all... at least her napping is pretty informal, if my wife takes a nap (she does regularly on the weekends) then she'll have the baby nap with her. We've been really bad at getting her to nap on her own at home, I can count like... maybe 3 or 4 times in a year that I've successfully gotten her to sleep in her crib for a nap on the weekends. She *does* nap well at daycare, which amazes me, but different setting, etc. She naps on a cot at daycare which seems crazy to me but they get it to work. I think it's just that people are always mulling about at daycare, hwere as at home in her crib she gets pissed if I put her in there even when she's tired. Otherwise when she naps if she's with me, it's in the car when I'm doing errands... she falls asleep almost instantly in the car, which is hilarious to me. I'll put her in, we'll drive to the hardware store not ~8mins down the road, and she's OUT by the time we get there. But at home? Not a chance! haha

I'm going to try the 'graduated extension' method which sounds good.

When you consoled your child, how long did you stay in her room?

My daughter is pretty good about going to sleep now... we have a routine, we do a bottle, I read her a short book, I rock her for a minute, lay her in the crib, and then I sit in her room for anywhere from 1 - 15mins, visible, usually I'll look at my phone which shines some light on my face so she can see I'm there. Usually after ~5mins or mayube up to 15mins she's put herself to sleep and I sneak out, and she's good about staying asleep for the first ~5 hours of sleep or so.
 

RDreamer

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,659
Sounds just like us...only difference being my wife is 39....

We go back and forth every week. Go for it? Happy with just one? Go for 2? Stick with one?
At this point I feel like we're both about 75% in the camp of this will be our only one. We're at least not seriously having much of a conversation outside of some jokes here and there yet. Kind of focusing on him.

But yeah not sure when that starts to really change. Maybe the conversation heats up when he gets closer to 2 years old.

I always kinda wanted two, but goddamn this is pretty rough, and I see nothing but horror stories from parents groups about having their second. I guess my parents got fucking lucky in that I was a pretty good kid when my sister arrived.

Personally I'd probably be fine with adopting, though I feel like my wife hesitates on that front.
 

nekkid

Member
Oct 27, 2017
9,006
At this point I feel like we're both about 75% in the camp of this will be our only one. We're at least not seriously having much of a conversation outside of some jokes here and there yet. Kind of focusing on him.

But yeah not sure when that starts to really change. Maybe the conversation heats up when he gets closer to 2 years old.

I always kinda wanted two, but goddamn this is pretty rough, and I see nothing but horror stories from parents groups about having their second. I guess my parents got fucking lucky in that I was a pretty good kid when my sister arrived.

Personally I'd probably be fine with adopting, though I feel like my wife hesitates on that front.
If it makes you feel any better our second was so much worse!

On a serious note, you’d have to be incredibly disciplined people to adopt a child after having a biological first. I know I wouldn’t be able to treat them equally, no matter how hard I tried.
 

RDreamer

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,659
If it makes you feel any better our second was so much worse!

On a serious note, you’d have to be incredibly disciplined people to adopt a child after having a biological first. I know I wouldn’t be able to treat them equally, no matter how hard I tried.
I have a hard time imagining much worse. Ours was so fucking colicky the first few months. Like obviously very worth it, but doing that with a toddler sounds like a fucking horror story. We were stuck in the house and basically pacing back and forth for so long because like 75% of his awake time was hysterical crying.

And I guess I think having any child after the first will be treated differently. We're able to dote on our first to a ridiculous degree that we just could not if we had even another biological baby. First borns will always be a bit different in that regard. Obviously as they get older things level off but I would think by that time an adopted child would feel very much like my child. I dunno though.
 

The Albatross

Member
Oct 25, 2017
10,201
So here’s something: my youngest son was colouring in his Paw Patrol colouring book today and said AJ (who has brown skin colour for the 3 people in this thread unfamiliar with PP) was chocolate colour and he needed the chocolate crayon.

Completely innocent, obviously, but do I address it? He’s just turned 3, so I’m torn between saying that that’s not what we say and then getting into a potentially bigger conversation about how people are different that he won’t be ready for, or just to not draw attention to it and make it a big thing?

At the time I said “you mean brown?” but he was adamant it was chocolate. So I didn’t push it any further.
haha, I think you did the right thing. Kids just say silly things when they look for the closest word.

I think it's also confusing for a kid because there's also dogs described as chocolate, like "chocolate labs"